A Lover and a Fighter

I am trying to live my life for more than myself. I have noticed my blog becoming a lot about relationships and my heartbreak, and although I agree that my blog should include how I am dealing and analyzing whatever it may be that I’m going through I don’t think it should be limited to that. I have been reading a lot of other blogs, the ones I like do not include break up stories or really anything about love or relationships. These are blogs mostly of males. I wonder why we women choose to write about our love lives more often. Possibly we’re just more open about that stuff? Or perhaps we just let it affect our hearts more. I believe it’s the way both sexes experience things. Women take things in and let them become a part of themselves. Relationships with people and animals become a part of a woman. Men dive into things, put themselves into relationships but stay whole when they leave. They still feel like themselves. I relate this to the way each gender makes love. It’s also not to say that men aren’t capable of love or heartbreak, that’s not at all what I’m trying to say. But I do believe it’s a different type of love.

I digress. I want my blog to have the amount of respect the blogs I follow and respect have. I am not looking to receive love; I have been loved and am loved by enough people to keep me whole. I am looking to make my life about more. I want to give love, of course. But a relationship in my life right now would be plain distracting to what I want to discover. As in the title of my blog explains I am a lover of people. I do not want to stop loving people or expressing that love. But it’s not a romantic type of love. I want to live my life for myself, I want to be selfish. Please forgive me. It’s not you. You are a beautiful person and capable of amazing love, and you will be loved by a far more special girl than me if you aren’t already. Please understand that it’s nothing against you or anything that has happened between us, it’s simply me just not being in the market for the countless wonderful qualities you have to offer. I want to be your friend and I want to appreciate you from that distance.

So here I go back on the road to life of experience and discovery. I was here once before but got distracted. I will be blindsided no more. I welcome happiness in my life. I am a fighter and will continue to fight the urge of temptation in order find my Daesin. I will fight for what I want and what I believe in.

Peace and love especially to you,
Mmber